Divorce Lawyers: Hello Noble Profession?

posted on April 26th, 2011 in Divorce Lawyers

Lately I’ve had a number of cases that have me thinking, once again, about the role of lawyers in our society. There are so many lawyers out there who do a wonderful job of representing clients in challenging situations, and then there are so many lawyers out there who do their clients a tremendous disservice by their mode of representation.

There are a number of quotes that have inspired me over the years and provided encouragement to truly live into this “noble” profession, and I wanted to share them with you in this post. I continue to work …

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Collaborative Divorce: Enrolling the Reluctant Spouse

posted on March 29th, 2011 in Collaborative Divorce

This week a reader sent me an email and asked the following question:

I’m interested in using the collaborative process for my divorce. The problem is, I can’t get my husband’s attention. He’s in total denial that this is happening, and just will not discuss it with me. I am so ready to move forward with this. What can I do?

This is a great question and one I have just dealt with recently. My client, Mary, came to see me a few months ago for a consultation. We went over her situation and her options, and she clearly expressed an …

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Collaborative Divorce v. Litigation

posted on March 17th, 2011 in Collaborative Divorce, Divorce Process and Options

While I have written extensively about collaborative divorce and compared it to all the divorce process options, like mediation, negotiation, and litigation, for me there is no better way to really get it than to see the differences laid out side by side. So here are ten points, point by point, comparing collaborative divorce to litigation.

Looks like they are polar opposites, doesn’t it? What do you think?

Collaborative Divorce:

Communication is open, honest, and shared.
There is no blaming and no fault finding.
The process is future focused – what do we want for ourselves and our children down the road?
The attitude is assertive.
Clients …

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Children and Divorce – Parenting the Pro-Child Way

posted on March 8th, 2011 in Custody, Visitation, and Support

In thinking about this week’s blog post, I reflected back on the last few weeks and a couple of court cases in which I was Guardian ad litem for the children. These cases were heart-breaking. Parents who, yes, said they wanted what was best for their children, and parents who, yes, certainly loved their children, but children who were showing signs of stress, anxiety, and sadness. And this was a few years after the divorce, when things normally settle down for people.

There was definitely a disconnect here, and for the life of me, I could not get the parents to …

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Custody and Visitation – The Truth About Children and Divorce

posted on March 1st, 2011 in Custody, Visitation, and Support

If you are going through a divorce or even just thinking about it, and you’re wondering how this will affect your children, I have some good news for you: Your children do not have to be damaged by your divorce. It is possible to divorce and raise healthy, well-adjusted, and balanced children.

I also have bad news for you: Your children may be damaged by your divorce, but that will be entirely up to how you do it. Some people divorce in such a way that is detrimental to the well-being and emotional development of their children and some divorce in …

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Graceful Divorce: How It’s Done

posted on February 22nd, 2011 in Divorce Process and Options

Since I haven’t been in touch with all of you in awhile, I wanted to start out by saying that life has been crazy busy lately, as I know it is for most of you. I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about what I want to write about and some goals and information I want to share with you in the coming weeks and months.

I know, from personal experience and my work every day, that if you are going through a divorce or thinking about stepping into that place, this is a very sensitive and emotional time for you. …

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The “Best Interests” Test

posted on November 2nd, 2010 in Custody, Visitation, and Support

We hear the phrase all the time – “in the best interests of the children” – but what does it really mean? And who gets to decide that? When a couple is divorcing and they cannot agree on the issues of custody or visitation, a judge will have to decide, and he or she will use a standard called “the best interests of the children” in making that determination.

In a perfect world, parents know what’s best for their children, and the parents, together, will take the appropriate actions and make the best decisions for them. But when parents are going …

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