Let’s face it. For folks newly separated or divorced, the holidays can really suck.

Every year people separate and divorce and have to figure out how to negotiate Christmas from a different place. It can be immensely painful and sad, but it can also be a time of new experiences and traditions. How it goes is all up to you and will be the result of the three steps outlined in this article. Keeping reading.

My former husband and I separated in early November. That first year, I had the kids for Thanksgiving, and he had them the first …

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Recently I had a difficult conversation with one of my clients. He and his wife had recently separated, and he just discovered some cell phone bills showing phone calls and texts messages, hundreds of them, to another man. He was furious with her, fuming actually, and I couldn’t blame him.

Of course, he wanted to go to court and expose her for the bad person she was and get divorced as soon as possible. I had the unpleasant task of explaining to him that, in his situation, he would probably spend a lot of money and get very …

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While I have written extensively about collaborative divorce and compared it to all the divorce process options, like mediation, negotiation, and litigation, for me there is no better way to really get it than to see the differences laid out side by side.  So here are ten points, point by point, comparing collaborative divorce to litigation.

Looks like they are polar opposites, doesn’t it?  What do you think?

Collaborative Divorce:

Communication is open, honest, and shared.
There is no blaming and no fault finding.
The process is future focused – what do we want for ourselves and our children down the road?
The attitude is assertive.
Clients …

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Since I haven’t been in touch with all of you in awhile, I wanted to start out by saying that life has been crazy busy lately, as I know it is for most of you. I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about what I want to write about and some goals and information I want to share with you in the coming weeks and months.

I know, from personal experience and my work every day, that if you are going through a divorce or thinking about stepping into that place, this is a very sensitive and emotional time for you.  …

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I was tempted to title this article, “Miss Congeniality Wins Again,” but I suspect that Sandra Bullock doesn’t really see it that way, and I certainly don’t want to be insensitive or appear disrespectful. What I am is completely impressed and a bit in awe of how she handled herself through her recent personal and family crisis.

When most people hear the words “graceful” and “divorce” in the same sentence, they think to themselves, “Yah, right!” But Sandra Bullock’s handling of her situation is exactly that. She has modeled a “graceful divorce” for the rest of us.

Think about it.  She had …

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Has divorce gone viral?

A recent study shows that divorce is contagious and can spread—through family, friends and co-workers.  In fact, the researchers found that couples whose close friends had split were 75 percent more likely to get divorced themselves. They call this trend “divorce clustering.”   Surely this is disturbing news for many married folks who have friends who are divorcing.

The team of researchers, led by Rose McDermott at Brown University, reviewed material from a study of 12,000 Massachusetts residents since 1948, and reached the conclusion that divorce is contagious. Their conclusions are startling and provocative, to say the least:

If you …

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Unfortunately, divorce is a fact of life.   The statistics are that nearly half of all first marriages end in divorce, and the rates of divorce for second and third marriages are even higher!  And while we may hope these numbers are wrong, the undeniable truth is there’s plenty of divorce going on.  We all know someone  who is thinking about separating or going through a divorce or who is already divorced.

What I’m finding in my practice, mostly because of the current economy, is that people are looking for the least expensive way to settle their issues and to reach a …

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