In thinking about this week’s blog post, I reflected back on the last few weeks and a couple of court cases in which I was Guardian ad litem for the children. These cases were heart-breaking. Parents who, yes, said they wanted what was best for their children, and parents who, yes, certainly loved their children, but children who were showing signs of stress, anxiety, and sadness.  And this was a few years after the divorce, when things normally settle down for people.

There was definitely a disconnect here, and for the life of me, I could not get the parents to …

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If you are going through a divorce or even just thinking about it,  and you’re wondering how this will affect your children, I have some good news for you:  Your children do not have to be damaged by your divorce.  It is possible to divorce and raise healthy, well-adjusted, and balanced children.

I also have bad news for you:  Your children may be damaged by your divorce, but that will be entirely up to how you do it. Some people divorce in such a way that is detrimental to the well-being and emotional development of their children and some divorce in …

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We hear the phrase all the time – “in the best interests of the children” – but what does it really mean? And who gets to decide that? When a couple is divorcing and they cannot agree on the issues of custody or visitation, a judge will have to decide, and he or she will use a standard called “the best interests of the children” in making that determination.

In a perfect world, parents know what’s best for their children, and the parents, together, will take the appropriate actions and make the best decisions for them. But when parents are going …

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I work with parents and children experiencing divorce every day. Sometimes I’m the lawyer for Mom or Dad, and sometimes I’m the lawyer for the children.  As the lawyer for the children (called a Guardian ad litem), I’m appointed by the court to represent the “best interests” of the children.

Many states provide for these appointments in contested custody cases. After all, Mom has a lawyer and Dad has a lawyer, but it’s really about the children. Shouldn’t they have a voice? I enjoy this role of advocating for the children because it gives me the opportunity to work with them …

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In my book, Graceful Divorce Solutions, A Comprehensive and Proactive Guide to Saving You Time, Money, and Your Sanity, I talk in detail about how litigation often turns into a legal “vortex”—a whirling mass, into which anything caught in the motion is drawn.  And when your case gets caught up in this “whirling mass,” it takes on a life of it’s own.

And so it goes with a custody battle.  A court-fought custody battle is rarely, if ever, in your children’s best interests.  Here’s why:

You and your lawyer can’t pick your judge.
Not every judge will deal with your parenting issues the …

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Here’s a list of my Top Ten Tips to help you be the best parent possible during your divorce and after it’s all said and done.  Many parents worry that their children will be forever screwed up because they are divorcing.  Well, to be honest with you, I have seen this happen, and it is typically when the parents behave badly towards each other and say bad things about each other, all in front of the children.

Children will and do adjust to your divorce if you are tuned into their needs and are aware of your own actions.  It’s all …

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