Splitting up but staying whole . . . . Is that possible? With a conventional litigated divorce, it’s highly unlikely. Going to court and fighting over children and money brings out the worst in people. Collaborative divorce, though, is a new and different ball game. It allows people to go through the divorce process in a way that helps them to maintain a good relationship with each other and to protect their children. This is what is meant by “splitting up but staying whole.” And it is possible.

Collaborative divorce has been around for over 20 years now, but …

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This week a reader sent me an email and asked the following question:

I’m interested in using the collaborative process for my divorce. The problem is, I can’t get my husband’s attention. He’s in total denial that this is happening, and just will not discuss it with me.  I am so ready to move forward with this. What can I do?

This is a great question and one I have just dealt with recently. My client, Mary, came to see me a few months ago for a consultation. We went over her situation and her options, and she clearly expressed an …

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While I have written extensively about collaborative divorce and compared it to all the divorce process options, like mediation, negotiation, and litigation, for me there is no better way to really get it than to see the differences laid out side by side.  So here are ten points, point by point, comparing collaborative divorce to litigation.

Looks like they are polar opposites, doesn’t it?  What do you think?

Collaborative Divorce:

Communication is open, honest, and shared.
There is no blaming and no fault finding.
The process is future focused – what do we want for ourselves and our children down the road?
The attitude is assertive.
Clients …

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Recently I wrote about how collaboration and mediation are alike and how they are different.  I’ve had a number of clients ask me recently about these two ways of going through divorce, and which way is best.  The only response I have for them is, “Well, that depends.”

Let’s explore this a bit further, and I think you’ll see what I mean.  Collaborative divorce is worth considering if some or all of the following are true for you:

You want a civilized, respectful resolution of your issues.
You would like to keep open the …

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This is a question I’ve been getting from clients lately with increasing frequency.  When they make that decision to pursue divorce, and they want to go through that process as “gracefully” as possible, they have a number of choices.  There is no “one size fits all” way of divorcing, so their decision will be based on their personal situation, needs, and relationship with their spouse.

What they want to know, and often have a hard time grasping, is the difference between Collaboration and Mediation.

Here are a few ways the processes are similar:

Both are based on the interests, needs and goals of …

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