In my book, Graceful Divorce Solutions, A Comprehensive and Proactive Guide to Saving You Time, Money, and Your Sanity, I talk in detail about how litigation often turns into a legal “vortex”—a whirling mass, into which anything caught in the motion is drawn.  And when your case gets caught up in this “whirling mass,” it takes on a life of it’s own.

And so it goes with a custody battle.  A court-fought custody battle is rarely, if ever, in your children’s best interests.  Here’s why:

You and your lawyer can’t pick your judge.
Not every judge will deal with your parenting issues the …

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This article is Part III in a series about achieving a better divorce.  In Part I, you worked on the Big Picture view for yourself and your family. You spent time thinking about this and writing about it in detail in your journal. In Part II, you learned the value of getting informed about your process choices, or the various ways you can actually get divorced.  This is a critical step to helping you be proactive for yourself. How in the world can you make the best decisions if you don’t even know what your choices are?

Now we are ready …

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This article is Part II in a 3 part series about achieving a better divorce.  Yes, it is possible to achieve a better divorce, but, as you probably know by now if you are in the midst of this process, it’s not easy.  It takes consistent effort and intention to make your divorce the best it can be under your particular circumstances.

It’s like preparing for surgery. If you exercise and lose some weight before your surgery, you’re likely to have a quicker and less painful recovery. It’s the same with divorce. If you prepare and anticipate and take consistent action …

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In a recent article, 3 Steps to Achieving a Better Divorce, I wrote about how important it is for people to be informed and proactive when going through the challenging time of a separation or divorce. I outlined a Three Step Formula to help you have a better divorce. In this three-part series, I will zero in on each of those steps, giving you more detail and direction so you can truly benefit from this formula.

The first step to achieving a better divorce is this:

Decide what you want your life to look like a year from now and then …

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